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“Late in my 50s I saw an advert for a local dance class and went along. It’s been fantastic. We’ve learnt Bollywood dancing, belly dancing, all kinds of international styles of dance. It’s so joyful and makes me happy.”
Cheryl, 68, lives in rural Dorset with her husband of 34 years. She has had a varied career, including working as one of the few women programmers in the early days of computer development, a lecturer in higher education in London, and most recently running her own ethical clothing shop in Somerset. Cheryl enjoys going to music gigs, including watching her husband play in his band, and keeping fit and active.
Since closing her business and having more free time in her retirement, Cheryl says she consciously seeks out new opportunities to be sociable and try out new activities. Here Cheryl tells us why she’s seizing opportunities to try new things – from Bollywood dancing to singing lessons.
“You’ve got to be proactive; opportunities don’t come knocking at your door. Meeting new people energises you, no matter what your age, and you have to have something to talk about. I know I’m very lucky to have been blessed with good genes. I don’t obsess about my weight but I want to be fit and healthy. To age graciously. But I still feel I want to be me, still thinking about being a bit fashionable, wearing bright colours not drab, neutral shades.
“Late in my 50s I saw an advert for a local dance class and went along. It’s been fantastic. We’ve learnt Bollywood dancing, belly dancing, all kinds of international styles of dance. It’s so joyful and makes me happy. For my 60th birthday party our teacher choreographed a 6-minute Bollywood routine that my friends and I practiced, and we then kicked off the party with the routine.
“I also go to a ballet class, which is something that I haven’t done since my early teens. It’s a very inclusive class, you’re encouraged to work to your ability whatever your age, rather than the class being aimed at a particular age group which isn’t something that I’m interested in as I like to be challenged. It’s so beneficial, mentally and physically.
“Now I have the time, I’ve also decided to overcome my fear of singing, having been shamed as a child for my terrible singing voice. I was intrigued by an advert for a ‘Wild Singing’ class, where I’m learning to be more tuneful. I knew that singing would make me feel joyful, so I’m giving it a try. I don’t have anything to lose.
“Of course, I’m very lucky to be able to afford to try these things. Ageing affects people in different ways depending on your circumstances. I know that I’m very lucky to have my husband to share things with. Loneliness is very hard and in rural areas like ours, isolation can be a real issue. I force myself to be social and look for opportunities to go along to things and meet like-minded people.
“As I reached state retirement age it felt like a real transition period. You go from an active working life and feeling like a valued member of society to being retired and unsure what your role is. What do you do with your time? I’m a non-white person in the countryside, and I wonder if I lived in a more urban area how different my life would be. But you must do what you feel. I know lots of people who help in the community and I’m very keen to give something back too – I've just completed training to become an adult reading helper. That makes me feel that I’m contributing something to society.
“My mother-in-law is in her 90s and goes to an exercise class for the over-60s. She has a very busy social life and says that she accepts every invitation that comes her way, as you don’t know how long it’s going to last. I feel the same way.”
